The importance of closure, food and an unforgettable lunch at the Bade Bhai Ka Brothers Dhaba, Amritsar

Think about it just for a moment, what does food really mean to you? Is food just nourishment or is it something more? Is food linked with certain people in your life? Is food emotionally charged for you? Does food link you with certain places? And finally, how do you observe meals and meals times in your life? 

The answers to each of these questions may actually surprise you and tell you more about yourself than you possibly realised. I'm now going to tell you a real life incident of what happened some time back when my father's younger sister Rani Luthra passed away.“Ashes to ashes, dust to dust” is a phrase that I’ve often heard, used, and it is also the one which touches a very deep chord in me in any context.But none could be as meaningful and touching as the moments spent when I stood with my family at the banks of the river Beas in Punjab and sent off the ashes of my father’s younger sister, to her final resting place. I was accompanying my father, and Rani Luthra’s family - her husband, her three children and their children who had made this trip all the way from Canada as they wanted to fulfill her last wish - that her ashes be mingled with the waters of the Beas.

The River Beas- Where the ashes were sent off 

Sometimes, it's difficult to put all of one’s emotions into words, but I’m going to try. In the moments that we reached the Beas river after a train journey from New Delhi and opened the casket holding the ashes, her entire family, including myself was weeping unashamedly.There is no way in that moment that one could feel anything else. It was also my first such experience and I felt that this act of immersing the ashes with the river's waters is a very important aspect for closure after losing a dearly loved one.

As I held my cousin Suneet, who had completely broken down, I couldn’t help but think to myself that it was wonderful to be able to have families come together in moments of happiness where one can celebrate, but it's really much more important to come together in moments of grief where one can share the love for that departed person.Even more than that, to share the sorrow that one feels in that aching void that has been left behind. But I’m convinced that time is truly the best healer and with the passage of the next few months, followed by years, the love for our aunt will never fade, but will remain there forever in our hearts and minds, but even more than that, in our souls.

We spent that night at the Radha Swami Satsang at Beas and next morning headed to Amritsar where we planned to visit the Golden Temple as the second part of this journey . Our hearts were heavy and we were all craving the peace that we knew we would get once we entered the hallowed portals of the Golden Temple. Having parked at a designated spot, we had to take cycle rickshaws to reach the Golden Temple. It was a cold, wet and windy February morning and we were shivering as we undertook a cycle ride through the busy and bustling city of Amritsar which I was visiting after a very long time.

A cvcle Rickshaw ride through Amritsar

Making our way to the Golden Temple Amritsar

I could write many pages about the visit to the Golden Temple which I will one day, but for purposes of this blog post it would suffice to say that we all did get that much needed closure that we were looking for and a couple of hours later, we left the venue to make our way back to the city, have a quick lunch before boarding the Shatabdi Express for our trip back to New Delhi railway station.

The Golden Temple Amritsar on a cold, wet, windy and memorable day

Someone had recommended the Bade Bhai Ka Brothers Dhaba very highly, and that was where we soon found ourselves. Must admit, we were all hungry in addition to being cold and rather wet as it rained while we were inside the precincts of the Golden Temple and for those of you who have been there, you would know that the walk around, or the 'Parikrama' as it is known in Punjabi is a long one. 

Entering the Bade Bhai Ka Brothers Dhaba, Amritsar

The Bade Bhai Ka Brothers Dhaba which has been awarded No.1 Dhaba of Amritsar by Dainik Jagran for many years, in the Dhaba and Restaurant category is conveniently located at a prime junction in Amritsar and clearly visible as one returns after a  visit to the Golden Temple from the Ghanta Ghar (Clock Tower) side.With most authentic Punjabi food, the Brothers Dhaba specialities are 'sarson ka saag' and 'makke di roti,' 'Amritsari Kulcha and chhole' and a Special Punjabi Thali that includes 'makhani dal' and 'parathas'. In addition, the dhaba also offers a wide range including Chinese, South Indian, Pizza, Burger, Chat, Ice Cream, Sundaes, Shakes etc.

Something told us that we should stay with traditional Punjabi food and we were right. All I can say is that when all of us had finished with that meal, it was almost as if a magic 'food wand' had been waved- one that had taken away our sorrow, fatigue and hunger and replaced with a warm glow- one that made us smile with sheer relief. One more thing, many of us swore that it was one of the best meals we had ever eaten...a wholly vegetarian one at that. 

All Smiles after the lunch- With the  Brothers Dhaba Team and family


There it is then, my real life story on the importance of closure, food and how it impacts every aspect of our lives and an unforgettable visit to the Bade Bhai Ka Brothers Dhaba, Amritsar.