Memories and how food plays a really important part in relationships

Think about it for a moment and you will understand exactly what I mean. Food plays such an important role in every aspect of our life. For instance, if there's a celebration we try to come up with the best or as might be the case, the most appropriate menu for the occasion. Alternately, if someone dies anywhere in the world, the close family and friends organize a 'wake' where good food and drink is served while people gather around in memory of the departed soul. Food is also something that can really taste best when eaten in company. For me, the term 'breaking bread' with someone beautifully depicts a scenario where good food tends to taste even better with good company In fact, I'd go so far as to say that even a pastry and coffee or a croissant and a coffee had with a friend is something that becomes really pleasurable and many a time, truly memorable. Top of my head, I can recall at least ten instances when I've enjoyed the meal/coffee so much more because of the company on a particular day. Shared with family and friends. Then there are some food memories which are very dear to one's heart by virtue of the fact that they centre around the food that either someone cooked for you in a way that was really special or then it could be about a savoury or sweet dish that you cooked for or shared with someone and he/she loved it best just the way you made it.

Which then leads me to a chain of bitter sweet thoughts. For instance, I can never eat sweet rice, or better known in Punjabi as 'Meethe Chawal' without remembering my grand mother in law, 'Beeji'. For Beeji made the best Meethe Chawal in the world as far as I was concerned. And always, always made it for me whenever I asked for it. Never mind that I was a grown up married lady and she was already in her seventies when we first met.. I can also never eat 'Kadhi Pakore and Chawal' ( a yogurt and gram flour based Punjabi dish) without remembering Jairam, my parents' cook for over thirty years who makes the most delicious Kadhi on earth.As also my friend Amrita in Muscat who makes sure she personally delivers a box of her special home made Kadhi to our home whenever she makes it. I can never eat a peppermint without drinking water right after it to check if my mouth really feels cool because that is exactly what my 'long lost and never found again; friend Christine Bose from my school in Calcutta used to do. I can never drink 'Elaichi' ( cardamom ) tea without thinking about my beautiful mother Satinder who I lost recently, because she always drank hers that way.Or dip a Marie biscuit in that same tea without remembering how she only wanted me and not her nurses to help her drink that cup of tea when she was critically ill in the ICU...

I could go on and on but I find that I actually have a pain in my heart remembering some people close to me who are now deceased, so I think I will stop here. But not before I say that what really brought on this chain of thought in the first instance was when I was making Rajma Chawal (a North Indian delicacy made with red kidney beans cooked in thick tomato based gravy) this morning specially for my daughter Neha, when I remembered a friend of mine, Akhila, who passed away in the prime of her life some time bck. For whenever I made 'Rajma' or 'Maa Ki Daal', I would always send her a big bowl, or better still, drop it off to her place personally because she said that it was the best she'd ever eaten.....