Words not spoken, feelings never shared

Some time back, I attended a friend’s milestone birthday party where many of her friends, including myself, spoke about her.

Basically what they said was what she meant to them, some went down nostalgia lane remembering incidents where they had done things together and so on. Then of course, there were her children and grandchildren who made it more meaningful by sharing some snippets about her , along with many aspects of her personality that many people at that lunch may not have known at all.

After all these had been said, she herself took centre stage and conveyed her thoughts . What she said was something I will always remember. The essence of it was simply 

"I'm so grateful to all of you for being here today. I’m even more grateful to have been able to hear all that you feel about me . Most people are not half as lucky because all these things are only spoken about when they are no more- at their Memorial .
Which simply means that they would never have had the opportunity of hearing what was said by people who had gathered there to say their goodbyes."

                                 ( Image sourced from the net)

That set me thinking. And I couldn’t help but remember my father’s Memorial where so many people shared so many wonderful stories and insights about him. I also thought about all the memorial meetings that I have attended recently and all that I heard about people who are no longer on this earth. Wouldn’t they have loved to hear what was said?

And so I concluded, it is so much more important to share one’s thoughts about how we feel about friends, relatives and those who matter, while they are still around. Tell them what and how much they mean to you. Tell them what you enjoyed doing together, how much a particular gesture or that lovely dish they made or sent across to you meant to you.

Along with a hundred other things…

                                  ( Image sourced from the net)

That way you will never regret what you never said. Words and thoughts that should have been spoken but never were..

Do it regularly, do it today.

Memories and how food plays a really important part in relationships

Think about it for a moment and you will understand exactly what I mean. Food plays such an important role in every aspect of our life. For instance, if there's a celebration we try to come up with the best, or as might be the case, the most appropriate menu for the occasion. Alternately, if someone dies anywhere in the world, the close family and friends organise a 'wake' where good food and drink is served while people gather around in memory of the departed soul. 

Food is also something that can really taste best when eaten in company. For me, the term 'breaking bread' with someone beautifully depicts a scenario where good food tends to taste even better with good company In fact, I'd go so far as to say that even a pastry and coffee or a croissant and a coffee shared with a friend is something that becomes really pleasurable and many a time, truly memorable. Top of my head, I can recall at least ten instances when I've enjoyed the meal or coffee so much more because of the company on a particular day. Then there are some food memories which are very dear to one's heart by virtue of the fact that they centre around the food that either someone cooked for you in a way that was really special, or then it could be about a savoury or sweet dish that you cooked for, or shared with someone and they loved it exactly the way you made it.

                                    Arabic bread basket-  Shangrila Bar Al Jissah, Muscat

Which then leads me to a chain of bitter sweet thoughts. For instance, I can never eat sweet rice, or better known in Punjabi as 'Meethe Chawal' without remembering my grand mother in law, 'Beeji'. For Beeji made the best Meethe Chawal in the world as far as I was concerned. And always, always made it for me whenever I asked for it. And we were such friends- never mind that I was just married and she was already in her seventies when we first met. 

I can also never eat 'Kadhi Pakore and Chawal' ( a yogurt and gram flour based Punjabi dish) without remembering Jairam, my parents' cook for over thirty years who made the most delicious Kadhi on earth. As also my friend Amrita in Muscat who made sure that  she personally delivered a box of her special home made Kadhi to our home whenever she made  it. I can never eat a peppermint without drinking water right after it to check if my mouth really feels cool because that is exactly what my 'long lost and never found again' friend,  Christine Bose from my school in Calcutta used to do. I can never drink 'Elaichi' ( cardamom ) tea without thinking about my beautiful mother Biba Satinder who I lost some years ago, because she always drank hers that way. Or dip a Marie biscuit in that same tea without remembering how she only wanted me and not her nurses to help her drink that cup of tea when she was critically ill in the ICU.

                             ( Image sourced from the net)

I could go on and on but I find that I actually have an ache in my chest remembering some people close to me who are no more, so I think I will stop here. But not before I say that what really brought on this chain of thought in the first instance was when I was making Rajma Chawal (a North Indian delicacy made with red kidney beans cooked in thick tomato based gravy)  this morning,  when I remembered a friend of mine, Akhila, who passed away in the prime of her life some time back.

   For whenever I made 'Rajma' or 'Maa Ki Daal', I would always send her a big bowl, or better still, drop it off to her place personally because she said that it was the best she'd ever eaten.

NB - This is a repeat post, just felt it was still so meaningful 

The Ninety Nine Club- A short story revisited

Its always great to refresh one's mind and learn something new by re reading a story or snippet that made an impact  on you the vey first time you heard it ( or as the case may be, read it.)

So here's one such gem with some real Food For Thought. Called 'The Ninety Nine Club', I'm fairly certain that it will impact you exactly the way it impacted me.

( Image Courtesy- The Ninety Club, London)

Once upon a time there was a King who ruled over a large kingdom. He had everything that he could possibly desire and then some. Anything he touched seemed to turn into gold and whatever he thought of or desired, he could buy.

But human beings are after all -just humans. Every morning he would step out and go for a brisk walk in his beautiful gardens and he would see a gardener busy at work.  Not a day passed when the King didn't see him smiling and humming a happy song and after some time, this began to bother him.

He called one of his wisest Ministers and shared his dilemma."There is a particular gardener who works for me. Every morning when I pass by, I see him smiling and humming a happy song. I have so much more than him, but somehow, I don't think I'm happy. You see, I'm never really able to hum and sing in a carefree manner I have everything I can think of so I can't help but wonder why he can behave that way and I can't ?"

The wise Minister replied, "Don't worry your Majesty, leave it all to me and you will soon see a different person." And with that, he smiled enigmatically and set off to do what he had planned.

Late that night, he went and dropped a red silk pouch with gold coins in front of the gardener's cottage and walked away. Next morning when the gardener came out, he saw the pouch and bent down to pick it up. It felt heavy and what was even more intriguing, it made a jingling sound when he shook it. Curiosity soon got the better of him and he opened it. Imagine his excitement when he saw that it was full of gold coins! 

He started counting. 'One, two, three......ninety seven, ninety eight, ninety nine....

Ninety nine?   How can that be possible? It has to be a hundred"

And so he started all over again.

"One, two, three........ninety seven, ninety eight, ninety nine.."

When the King saw him at work that morning, the gardener wasn't smiling.

Or humming...

Or working...

Instead he was frowning, squinting furiously and counting something that seemed to make a jingling sound in a red coloured silk pouch.

The wise Minister approached the King as he stood there looking at him and said,

"You see, Your Majesty, this man is now officially a member of  the Ninety Nine Club."

A Life Changing experience and the influence of Lord Buddha

'Buddham Sharanam Gacchami Dhammam Sharanam Gacchami Sangham Sharanam Gacchami'

 These are among the most beautiful, appealing and thought provoking words I've heard and when I think of them even today, in fact, even as I write this piece, I remember the first time I heard them and how they influenced me. And now, to go back in time ....

 Have you ever been to a place that influences you so much that you decide to make an immediate change in your way of life and living? Many years ago, I had exactly such an experience, one which was so powerful and intense that I get goosebumps even as I think of it today. I was in Class 8 in Sophia Convent in Meerut when a busload of girls accompanied by three teachers and our Principal, went out on a school trip to Nepal via Bihar. En route, we first stopped stopped at Lucknow for the night then went on to Sarnath and Rajgir so that we could see these historic spots where the Buddha had lived, walked and attained enlightenment. It was a lovely and very memorable trip in more ways than one.

The sacred Bodhi tree -Bodh Gaya (Pic sourced from the internet) 

The photograph above is believed to be the tree in Bodh Gaya under which Prince Siddhartha Gautama meditated and attained Enlightenment on the full Moon day of 'Vaisakh Purnima.' The present version is probably the fifth succession of the original tree earlier destroyed many times by man made as well as natural calamities. The other main attraction of Bodh Gaya is the Mahabodhi temple which has been restored and rebuilt over the centuries. The Mahabodhi Temple has now been declared as a World Heritage site by UNESCO. It is believed that for six years Lord Buddha practiced severe asceticism thinking this would lead him to enlightenment. He sat in meditation eating only roots, leaves and fruit. and at other times nothing. Sadly, this did not take him anywhere. Then one full-moon day in May, he sat under the Bodhi tree ( above) in deep meditation and said. "I will not leave this spot until I find an end to suffering." During the night, he was visited by 'Mara', the evil one, who tried to tempt him away from his virtuous path. One by one, Gautama met the armies sent by Mara and defeated them with his steadfastness and virtue.As the struggle ended, he realized the cause of suffering and how to remove it. He had gained the most supreme wisdom and understood things as they truly are. From then on, he became the Buddha, 'The Awakened One' and was refereed to as 'Shakyamuni Buddha.' 

And so to where I began my story. 

That early evening, I stood under that Bodhi tree and felt something change inside me. It was almost as if I could see Lord Buddha sitting there and meditating. In my ears and possibly within me, I could hear the beautiful sounds of the words 'Buddham Sharanam Gachammi, Dhammam Sharanam Gachammi Sangham Sharanam Gachaami '.

And in those moments, something inside me changed. I felt cleansed and whole and it was a 'new' me that walked away from that tree. From that day, I turned vegetarian. I knew that Lord Buddha had said that and that was how life was going to be. I was a person who loved chicken and fish but it was over in those moments. Nothing and no one could convince me to eat it again. 

Time passed and I was happy. I grew into a confident and independent girl who could tackle almost anything after that. I did well in class as well as in extra curricular activities and in my heart I firmly believed that it was all due to that particular moment in my life. 

Did I ever go back to being a non vegetarian? I did, after about two and a half years. My brother Navtej was instrumental in that and how he managed it when no one else could is another story. 

But you see, we all think differently at different times and stages in our lives. So right after my father's passing, ( he was a RadhaSwami and vegetarian for the better part of his life but in his later years Mummy convinced him to eat fish) I changed my food habits again and have stayed with them till today.I eat only fish in the non veg category , just like Pop and am seriously toying with the idea of quitting that too one day -sooner rather than later...

Memories and how food plays a really important part in relationships

Think about it for a moment and you will understand exactly what I mean. Food plays such an important role in every aspect of our life. For instance, if there's a celebration we try to come up with the best or as might be the case, the most appropriate menu for the occasion. Alternately, if someone dies anywhere in the world, the close family and friends organize a 'wake' where good food and drink is served while people gather around in memory of the departed soul. 

Food is also something that can really taste best when eaten in company. For me, the term 'breaking bread' with someone beautifully depicts a scenario where good food tends to taste even better with good company In fact, I'd go so far as to say that even a pastry and coffee or a croissant and a coffee had with a friend is something that becomes really pleasurable and many a time, truly memorable. Top of my head, I can recall at least ten instances when I've enjoyed the meal/coffee so much more because of the company on a particular day. Then there are some food memories which are very dear to one's heart by virtue of the fact that they centre around the food that either someone cooked for you in a way that was really special or then it could be about a savoury or sweet dish that you cooked for or shared with someone and he/she loved it best just the way you made it.

                 An Arabic bread basket- At the Shangrila Bar Al Jissah, Muscat

Which then leads me to a chain of bitter sweet thoughts. For instance, I can never eat sweet rice, or better known in Punjabi as 'Meethe Chawal' without remembering my grand mother in law, 'Beeji'. For Beeji made the best Meethe Chawal in the world as far as I was concerned. And always, always made it for me whenever I asked for it. Never mind that I was a married lady and she was already in her seventies when we first met.. 

I can also never eat 'Kadhi Pakore and Chawal' ( a yogurt and gram flour based Punjabi dish) without remembering Jairam, my parents' cook for over thirty years who made the most delicious Kadhi on earth.As also my friend Amrita in Muscat who made sure that  she personally delivered a box of her special home made Kadhi to our home whenever she made  it. I can never eat a peppermint without drinking water right after it to check if my mouth really feels cool because that is exactly what my 'long lost and never found again friend,  Christine Bose from my school in Calcutta used to do. I can never drink 'Elaichi' ( cardamom ) tea without thinking about my beautiful mother Biba Satinder who I lost some time back  because she always drank hers that way.Or dip a Marie biscuit in that same tea without remembering how she only wanted me and not her nurses to help her drink that cup of tea when she was critically ill in the ICU...

I could go on and on but I find that I actually have an ache in my chest remembering some people close to me who are now deceased, so I think I will stop here. But not before I say that what really brought on this chain of thought in the first instance was when I was making Rajma Chawal (a North Indian delicacy made with red kidney beans cooked in thick tomato based gravy)  this morning,  when I remembered a friend of mine, Akhila, who passed away in the prime of her life some time back.

 For whenever I made 'Rajma' or 'Maa Ki Daal', I would always send her a big bowl, or better still, drop it off to her place personally because she said that it was the best she'd ever eaten.....

NB - This is a repeat post, just felt it was still so meaningful 

The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat.

"The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat. 

It's watching what other people eat."

( Image sourced from Google) 

This was a line that I posted on my social media pages some time back and was amazed at the number of comments that it generated. 

To cut the long story short, most of them were in complete agreement with the line and ruefully acknowledged that that that it was 'oh so true'. 

As someone who has been through the Yo Yo syndrome myself, I consider myself as somewhat of an authority to talk about it. 

Diets are indeed a hard act to follow through and it is the easiest thing in the world to fall off the wagon. You gain some, then decide to lose it. 

Which you do upto a point then get fed up, or just plain bored.

 And then the cycle starts all over again. 

So at this point in my life, this is where I'm at. I eat all that I want to for a few days, then do the balancing act for the next few. That way I'm able to successfully maintain at least the semblance of a status quo. 

But for all that I do or don't do, what I definitely try and do is walk off some of it away. Every day,  I set out and try and do about 45 minutes at as brisk a pace that I'm able to manage on that given day. 

It works for me and I'm fairly sure that it will for you too.

 

Apple, Fig and bread pudding, served with Vanilla ice-cream and honey - An Anytime favourite

I love baking and even more, I like to try out something which I can make and serve without much ado. So today, I'm going to tell you how to bake a delicious, golden brown Apple, Fig and Bread pudding. 

Want even more 'deliciousness'? Serve it hot, topped with a scoop of Vanilla ice cream and a drizzle of honey.

So here it is, the recipe and the method. Do let me know what you think and it would be even better, if you actually try it and let me have your feedback.

Ingredients

Three slices of wholemeal/brown bread
1red apple, sliced
6 small figs
1 and a 1/2  cups  milk
1 egg
1 tsp   vanilla essence
Brown Sugar- 2  tablespoons

Method 

Pre heat oven to 150 degrees and set timer for 32 mins.

Set the three slices of bread cut evenly into squares on an oven proof glass dish which has been lined with oil/butter.

Add the figs which have been roughly chopped.

Slice apple finely and cover with the juice of one lemon to prevent dis colouration.

Soak the bread slices with the milk, egg, sugar  and the vanilla essence mix which should have been beaten with a fork to achieve a  smooth consistency.

Leave for 3-5 minutes to ensure that the slices are softened.

Decorate with the apple slices.

All set for popping into the  oven

Put into the pre-heated oven and wait till the timer pings on completion of 32 minutes.( You may want to leave it for an additional 2-3 mins if you want more of a golden brown look.)

Bake till top is golden brown

The Apple, fig and bread pudding is ready

To Serve

Cut into portions and serve in a bowl.

The best way I can recommend is to add one scoop of vanilla ice cream topped with a teaspoon of honey.

Even more delicious, topped with a scoop of Vanilla Ice cream and a drizzle of honey

Sit back and enjoy with a steaming  Cappuccino.

PS- This is a re run of an older post, but this is the festival season  and I'm sure that it could be an interesting possibility for any of you.

Why does the last piece always taste the best?

That last slice of pizza. That last piece of cake. That last sandwich. That last piece of chocolate. Or even that piece of 'not so interesting' banana bread. 

All these have one major thing in common.

They all taste so much better than that original 'whole' portion.

               The last slice

According to new research, our brains may be wired to remember the end of an experience more warmheartedly than the beginning. Actually, humans may be hardwired to view the “last” as “best,” according to a Huffington Post article about new research published in the journal Psychological Science. 

 Phoebe Ellsworth, PhD, and Ed O'Brien, two scientists from the University of Michigan, were interested in whether we remember the end of an experience more fondly than the beginning and middle parts. Why were those final nibbles savoured more than the others? 

Simply identifying the ‘last piece' of chocolate as the ‘last’ made eating it more positive, and this emotion coloured global judgments of enjoyment,explained Wray Herbert, Phd, on Huffington Post. 

 So there you have it, that key word, is "last." 

Effectively, it sets off alarm transmitters inside the brain and the human being reacts differently .ie convinces himself that the 'last" piece is definitely better than ( all) the previous ones. 

 Try it out for yourself and you will see that it really does work that way. As for me, I really don't need much thinking on this. You see, the reason that I decided to write this piece is that I'm totally convinced. That last piece certainly tastes much better!

Fig, Orange and Lemon Biscotti- An easy to make, anytime treat

Looking for that perfect anytime treat? Even better as its the festive season. Something that can be had with your tea, coffee or best of all, easily be served up as a dessert? Then, it has to be Biscotti- easy to make at home and can be made with just about any ingredient you may have lying in your kitchen cabinets. Biscotti also known as 'cantuccini' are twice baked cookies originating in the Italian city of Prato. The biscuits are oblong-shaped biscuits, made dry and crunchy through cutting the loaf of dough while still fresh from baking in the oven.

Today, biscotti are made using many different ingredients. Almonds, figs, pistachios, raisins, cranberries, and lemon & orange zest make for great flavors in this cookie and can be mixed and matched depending on their availability. I made these with wholewheat flour, figs, orange and lemon zest, creamed with butter and sugar . Ingredients 2 cups wholewheat flour 1 and a half cups sugar 350 gms butter 3 whole eggs Figs to taste Grated zest of one lemon and orange ( each) 1 tsp baking powder. Method Put all the dry ingredients together in a bowl and mix thoroughly. Combine all the wet ingredients and stir briskly. Combine the two and make into a clean oval shaped dough. Put cling film and pop into the frig for 1 hour. Bake in a pre heated oven art 125 C for 30-35 mins

Bake at 125 C for 30-35 mins Allow to rest on a wire rack. Then cut into pieces and bake for another 15 mins till golden brown. Cut into pieces and bake again for about 15 mins Dust with icing sugar and serve with tea, coffee or simply as dessert.

We tried it with whipped cream and berries- made for a delightfully decadent dessert. Try your own variations and let me know too. PS -I'm just repeating this post to re start my blog as Ive been off the grid for some time. I promise to be more regular from now on...

Memories and how food plays a really important part in relationships

Think about it for a moment and you will understand exactly what I mean. Food plays such an important role in every aspect of our life. For instance, if there's a celebration we try to come up with the best or as might be the case, the most appropriate menu for the occasion. Alternately, if someone dies anywhere in the world, the close family and friends organize a 'wake' where good food and drink is served while people gather around in memory of the departed soul. Food is also something that can really taste best when eaten in company. For me, the term 'breaking bread' with someone beautifully depicts a scenario where good food tends to taste even better with good company In fact, I'd go so far as to say that even a pastry and coffee or a croissant and a coffee had with a friend is something that becomes really pleasurable and many a time, truly memorable. Top of my head, I can recall at least ten instances when I've enjoyed the meal/coffee so much more because of the company on a particular day. Shared with family and friends. Then there are some food memories which are very dear to one's heart by virtue of the fact that they centre around the food that either someone cooked for you in a way that was really special or then it could be about a savoury or sweet dish that you cooked for or shared with someone and he/she loved it best just the way you made it.

Which then leads me to a chain of bitter sweet thoughts. For instance, I can never eat sweet rice, or better known in Punjabi as 'Meethe Chawal' without remembering my grand mother in law, 'Beeji'. For Beeji made the best Meethe Chawal in the world as far as I was concerned. And always, always made it for me whenever I asked for it. Never mind that I was a grown up married lady and she was already in her seventies when we first met.. I can also never eat 'Kadhi Pakore and Chawal' ( a yogurt and gram flour based Punjabi dish) without remembering Jairam, my parents' cook for over thirty years who makes the most delicious Kadhi on earth.As also my friend Amrita in Muscat who makes sure she personally delivers a box of her special home made Kadhi to our home whenever she makes it. I can never eat a peppermint without drinking water right after it to check if my mouth really feels cool because that is exactly what my 'long lost and never found again; friend Christine Bose from my school in Calcutta used to do. I can never drink 'Elaichi' ( cardamom ) tea without thinking about my beautiful mother Satinder who I lost recently, because she always drank hers that way.Or dip a Marie biscuit in that same tea without remembering how she only wanted me and not her nurses to help her drink that cup of tea when she was critically ill in the ICU...

I could go on and on but I find that I actually have a pain in my heart remembering some people close to me who are now deceased, so I think I will stop here. But not before I say that what really brought on this chain of thought in the first instance was when I was making Rajma Chawal (a North Indian delicacy made with red kidney beans cooked in thick tomato based gravy) this morning specially for my daughter Neha, when I remembered a friend of mine, Akhila, who passed away in the prime of her life some time bck. For whenever I made 'Rajma' or 'Maa Ki Daal', I would always send her a big bowl, or better still, drop it off to her place personally because she said that it was the best she'd ever eaten.....